The UNNAMED Relationship'S

It is a very basic human characteristic to assign some sort of nomenclature to things we associate with, be the place we live in, the world around us or be it the people we care about or are related to. For the ones implied on us by society, we call them by different names like father, mother, sister brother etc and the ones which we choose for ourselves, we call them friends, Bf, Gf etc.

But what exactly is a relationship?? Is it just a name we choose to assign to something we share with someone or it is a feeling of the heart which we share with someone. Does just saying that he/ she is my bf/gf, give you the satisfaction and the comfort that YES, now I have something substantial or something worth living for. Why are we so hell bent on tagging every relationship? Why can’t we just enjoy that special feeling with that special some? Is the society which forces to define everything clearly or is that we are so blind that we are not willing to challenge our inertia for change?

Every Holy Scripture says that life is a constant struggle between GODD and EVIL, that both of them reside inside of us and that every moment makes us choose one over the other. If so, then how can it be possible to slot every human connection into a standard relationship name?? Why can’t we just say that, like life, this relationship hinges on the GREY area. It’s not something, that can be defined in words. It’s the source of my biggest happiness, even if at times, it drives me crazy.

The irony of life is, for the last 6 to 8 yrs, I have the heard the phrase “ I CANT EXPLAIN WHAT I SHARE WITH U, BUT IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME” and laughed my ass off on it, and now, today , in the twilight of my educational life, away from home, away from all familiar faces, I find myself in the very same situation, saying the very same things and experiencing the very same emotions (Thankfully not with the very same females atleast ;-) )

It’s surprising how much a person learns once you take him out of his comfort zone. How the things, which were nothing more than mere shallow words at one point of time, take the form of divine truth, and notions by which you used to swear by, seem like nothing but shallow worlds. How at times, even the taste of defeat is far sweeter than the taste of all ur conquests/ victories put together. How the refusal of a girl to ur proposal, make u even closer to her?? How suddenly you message someone in the middle of the night, without a care in the world, just to say that u r scared/ worried, how despite everything that goes on, anytime something goes wrong or u wanna share something personal/important, SHE is the only person that comes to your mind, even though she is NOT ur gf?? How, despite knowing it for a fact, that NOTHING will ever happen between the two of us, you go to any extent for that person?? People may say, IT IS LOVE . Yes perhaps it is, but why make life so simplistic. Why can’t we be comfortable in the GREY’s of a relationship. Why can’t we JUST accept the fact, for some strange, the comfort level, which u share with that specific person, is something out of this world. That despite all the problems, complications, bad history, confusion, so called UNACCEPTABLE relationships in the society or for the lack of a better term, UNSIMPLISTIC relationships, r sometimes the biggest source of your strength.

How, you can magically open up all ur secrets to that person, and that person alone. How despite all your best efforts, she is always on your mind?? How despite all the bad blood, you look at the relationship and realize that, the NAME is not important, the feeling in the relationship is far more important. How every time you look at her, you can’t help but cherish how lucky u r to share with her whatever it is you share with her.

I may be the last person on this earth to understand the concept of LOVE, but yeah, when it comes to relationships in the GREY area, I have come to cherish them very dearly. So much so, I have come to realize that , for a soul like me, life in the grey is far more happier and enriching that living it in the rigid colours of the society.

Not confused any more

Why is MBA a MUST!!!!!

On June 24th, when i reached Mumbai and took my first steps in this journey called MBA, i used to laugh at everyone, who said that MBA is NOT all abt makin money(or acquiring skills to make the same), but is a life changing experience. ;-) i am sure, i wasnt the only one who shared this perception.

     But now, after almost 16 months into it, i have been forced to change my perception. The ride so far has been an INTERESTING one to say the least. For better or for worse, it has changed the person i am now.

I have experienced every human emotion in this journey so far: from the joy of meeting unexpectedly like minded people, an unforgettable bus ride from mumbai to bangalore, the first CRAZY n WILD week in bangalore, the first crush on a senior, the mid-night escapades with a special someone, the um teen adventures with batch mates, making friends who will last a lifetime, the pain of a broken heart, the ecstasy of finding love, the everlasting confusing b/w being just friends or lovers, the back stabbing from so called friends, burning those mid night oils during exams, pool side parties, having unexpectedly delicious home cooked food, impressing the prof with ur music collection, being lazy as well as the guy on whom ppl can rely on to do the oddest of jobs, to working two straight nights just before the exams to give the seniors a Grand farewell to being the unexpected DJ for the alumni meet to making the MOST of the round tables (ROI) ;-)

       The academics seem to be just a part and parcel of MBA.The real learning comes from outside the classroom. The candid attitude of the prof's, who talk straight form the hips, the no holds barred generosity of a certain prof. to treat all of us TWICE, the scheming n cunning minds of others, the college dynamics ( the politics that goes on), sucking up to the right ppl to get the work done, only to realise that someone else took the credit for it. lol.  

     Not only does it test ur patience, but it also tests what ur made off. Away from home, into a new territory, strangers all around and not a familiar face in sight, jostling for ur place in the food chain, and finding LOVE in the MOST unexpected of places, the constant struggle to keep ur chin up despite having the wind knocked out of u, not letting the ppl know how screwed up ur mind is, doing things for a friend, acting crazy in love, inshort, rewiring ur vey being just to realize that it was just a MISTAKE ( n then they say, women r sure of themselves..lol) *

* a disclaimer : any reference to u sweetheart till this point and in the text further, is just for the sake of truth n not intended to piss u off ANYMORE ;-)

       Memories r a plenty, to the UNFORGETTABLE New years at Gokarna,the confusion after that, to the loneliness during the summers(for more than one reason ;-) ) to the sudden developments during the same (both from the pinnacle of joy to down right ugly ) , seeing Uday for the first time, then watchin him grow in front of my eyes, the unexpectedly warm welcome on comin back, the MYSTERY dates, the trips to Comm. St n strolls in the rain,  to the CONFUSING  rearing its ugly head once again . lol.
 
        No matter what happens next,where the placement happens or where life takes me, one thing is for
 SURE, doing MBA from this place was the BEST decision of my life. For they have taught me, not just how to think clearly in terms of what i want in life, BUT also WHO  i want in my life ;-) 

A Foggy Mind

Haunted by the demons of my regret, confused why i do things i dont mean, falling apart slowly everyday, but blinded by my own numbness, I AM OWN WORST ENEMY.

        When does a person realise that he is actually in love or even begin to phantom the possibility of ever truly being able to under what love is??  It is a perennial question that even the sages of the centuries gone by couldn't comprehensively answer.

       Is love a selfless feeling, when one gives up everything they hold dear, just to be able to spend their life(no matter how short or how long it is for) with that some one special, where u stand through thick and thin, trust each other blindly and expect nothing in return, EXCEPT a reciprocation of the same feelings??(you choose to fall in love)

       OR is love, a compromise where you don't live a dream world, weight things practically, apply the rule "WHATEVER U DO, I CAN DO AL WELL", and have a mutual understanding of live and let live??(you choose for want of a better option)

       It is this catch 22 situation, that clouds the clearest of minds, when THEIR time comes to fall into "LOVE". Do u become a shoulder to cry, a confidante who keeps all the secrets, a pillar of strength in times of need and a safety net on which one can lean on blindly, without the fear of every falling?? YES, would be unanimous reply, BUT for how long. How long can u just give n give n not expect anything in return. Is it too much to ask for something in return which you can show the world or is love just a feeling between two people and meant only for their understanding??

       How long do u keep on giving it ur best, is their any perfect time to call it quits when you know its not workin out, how do u know its not workin out, do u fight till the last breath for your love, or is it possible that LOVE is just a CONFUSED state of mind, where all ur senses become numb, u cant clearly demarcate what the relationship of that SPECIAL SOMEONE is with u?? questions, questions and more questions

       And once in "LOVE" is it not a natural progression that certain things which u took for granted, no matter how small a gesture they were, just fade away with time. Is it too crazy to want to hold on them , or is hurting the other person with the truth a better, higher and moral way to go?? Being open about your feelings is considered a mandate, but when does it lean towards neediness or even down right pathetic to your own self dignity n esteem??
     Does one look at the hidden meanin behind the gestures?? if u get it right, u know the other person so well, and if u dont, you end up being an ass, who thinks too much and is too childish and immature to understand things.
      SO THE QUESTION TO ASK IS whether to try and find "LOVE",cherish it and do whather ever it takes to make it work, with all its confusion OR just simply live at the other end of the spectrum, where u DO LOVE, its just that u love someone elses love ?????


 A DARK AND FOGGY MIND